One of the actual dictionary definitions of calm is; not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other strong emotions.
To me calm is a state and like any state it requires a certain mindset and can only be achieved by choice! In other words I chose to be calm, and then life test your level of self conviction. Life says can you be calm when things are going your way and you smile and say yep I am still choosing calm.
Life smiles back and says nice one, can you remain calm when faced with challenges and depending on the level of condition and challenge life send your way you do pretty good or struggle a little and get through that stage. Once again life says what about now can you still keep calm and send you another gift in the form of another challenging situation, person or persons.
It’s a chance for you to calibrate your sense of calm and notice how you have progressed.
If at some stage you choose a different state other then calm you only gave up the calm temporarily.
For me what keeps me calm is being mindful, taking deep breaths and selecting to be compassionate and loving. Regardless of what’s happening around me I don’t give situations or people the permission to disturb my inner peace which keeps me calm.
This level of progress only came about when I stopped blaming and took full responsibility for my actions and inactions, and really owned that I am the only master of my emotions and only I can chose my state at all times.
This doesn’t mean I am some kind of super human any one can reach this level of progress with conviction, commitment and practice. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t some times lose my cool and blow my shirt off. But in those moments of frustration or annoyance I reassure myself that I am having a human moment and I can gauge how quickly I can reinstate my calm and forgive myself for giving it up for a moment. My reflections help recalibrate how I have progressed.
Being in the now not past or future helps as well as it keeps me grateful for the gift of now and having power over what state I am in now. I can’t change the past and my now can shape my future, so if give up the drama now I have a better chance of a future with less drama, I give up the toxic people around me now, I have a future with more tonic people.
Hope this helps give perspective, as they say sounds easier said then done but no one died yet of practicing mindfulness, being in the now and having gratitude for having free will over their state of mind.
Power to you my friend your on your way just by reading this!
Any questions please visit my website www.basstadros.com or attend one of my free upcoming talks.
Bass Tadros is a Hypnotherapy Thought Leader, Certified Hypnotherapist, speaker, author of '3 Steps To Inspiration for Life' and Founder of For Life Coaching.
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